In today’s interconnected professional landscape, the importance of building robust connections is undeniable. Yet, as Marie Forleo expertly highlights in the accompanying video, the very idea of “networking” often conjures images of forced smiles and inauthentic exchanges. Many professionals find themselves at a crucial stage in their careers where networking feels essential but deeply uncomfortable, often due to a perceived need to be someone they’re not. This common struggle can lead to missed opportunities and a lingering sense of unease.
The good news is that networking doesn’t have to be a performance; it can, and should, be an organic extension of who you are. True authentic networking shifts the focus from transactional encounters to meaningful relationship building. It’s about cultivating genuine connections that can enrich your career and your life, rather than merely collecting business cards. Let’s delve deeper into strategies that empower you to connect authentically, leaving behind the “fakie pants” approach for good.
Redefining Networking: Beyond the Event
For many, networking is synonymous with formal events in often uninspiring settings, feeling more like an obligation than an opportunity. This limited perception often leads to a sense of dread and inauthenticity. However, networking is not a single event to attend; it’s an ongoing, fluid process of forging relationships with people whose values and interests resonate with your own.
Imagine if every interaction, from a casual coffee chat to an industry conference, was simply an opportunity to meet a potential new friend or colleague. This subtle shift in mindset can transform your approach entirely. It’s about integrating the act of connecting into your daily life, making it a natural practice rather than a scheduled chore. Building genuine connections becomes effortless when you view it as an extension of your natural curiosity and desire for human interaction.
Prioritizing Value: The Art of Giving First
One of the most powerful principles in authentic networking is the focus on giving rather than immediately seeking to gain. Before you even consider what someone might do for you, ask yourself how you can genuinely contribute to their success or well-being. This doesn’t always have to be business-related.
Perhaps you have a valuable book recommendation that aligns with their interests, or you know someone in your circle who could provide a solution to their current challenge. Maybe you can share an insightful article, offer a word of encouragement, or simply lend an ear. The value you provide can be entirely separate from your professional endeavors, yet it builds significant relational capital. This generosity establishes trust and goodwill, forming a solid foundation for any future professional relationship and making your authentic networking efforts shine.
Cultivating Presence: The Power of Undivided Attention
In our increasingly distracted world, truly being present with another person is a rare and powerful gift. As Marie illustrates with the anecdote about yoga teacher Rodney Yee, complete focus on the individual in front of you can be profoundly impactful. When you’re engaging in conversation, your full attention should be on that person, not scanning the room for a “better” contact or mentally drafting your next talking point.
Maintaining eye contact, actively listening to their words, and responding thoughtfully demonstrate genuine interest and respect. Imagine how different a conversation feels when you know the other person is fully engaged, versus when they seem to be looking over your shoulder. Cultivating this presence not only makes the other person feel valued but also allows you to absorb more information, leading to more meaningful and memorable interactions. This is a cornerstone of effective and authentic networking.
The Strategic Listener: Gaining Insights Through Dialogue
The age-old wisdom holds true: “We have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak.” This principle is incredibly potent in networking. Rather than feeling pressured to impress someone with your achievements or elevator pitch, focus on asking open-ended questions and truly listening to the answers. People generally enjoy talking about themselves and their passions.
By listening actively, you gain valuable insights into their challenges, aspirations, and interests. This understanding allows you to identify potential areas for future collaboration or ways you might genuinely help them. It demonstrates a sincere interest in their journey, rather than just a desire to advance your own agenda. This approach makes you a much more interesting and memorable person to connect with, fostering genuine connections.
Building Long-Term Relationships: A Marathon, Not a Sprint
Real, impactful relationships are not forged in a single interaction; they develop gradually over time, much like a marathon runner builds stamina. When you first meet someone, resist the urge to immediately push your agenda or request a favor. This can feel transactional and often creates an uncomfortable dynamic, diminishing the potential for authentic networking.
Consider an aspiring children’s book author meeting a publisher. Instead of instantly pitching their manuscript, a more effective approach would be to express genuine interest in the publisher’s work or industry. Asking thoughtful questions about current trends or challenges within children’s publishing opens a dialogue that is respectful and informative. Over time, as trust and rapport grow, more significant opportunities naturally emerge. This long-term perspective is crucial for building valuable professional relationships.
Setting Boundaries: Smart Commitments for Sustainable Networking
As you become more adept at authentic networking, you’ll inevitably meet many people. It’s crucial to understand that you don’t need to maintain deep connections with everyone you encounter. The idea of feeling guilty for not keeping in touch with every single person can lead to burnout and less effective relationship building. It’s perfectly acceptable to selectively nurture the connections that genuinely resonate with you and your goals.
Moreover, learn to say “no” graciously and honestly to invitations that don’t excite you or align with your schedule. If someone suggests coffee and you genuinely don’t have the capacity or desire, a polite refusal like, “I really appreciate the offer, but my schedule is currently full, and I don’t want to overcommit,” is far more authentic and respectful than making a false promise. Prioritizing your time ensures you can invest fully in the connections that truly matter, making your overall networking strategy more sustainable.
Seizing the Moment: The Impact of Immediate Action
When you do make a commitment to someone, especially a small one like an email introduction or sharing a resource, take action immediately. The moment you agree to do something is often the peak of your motivation and the recipient’s anticipation. Whipping out your smartphone to send an email intro on the spot, rather than waiting until you get home, exemplifies efficiency and reliability.
This habit not only ensures that tasks get done but also reinforces your reputation as someone who is dependable and proactive. It prevents promises from piling up and demonstrates your commitment to the new connection. Taking prompt action solidifies the positive impression you’ve made and significantly enhances the effectiveness of your authentic networking efforts.
Aligning with Your Interests: Networking That Energizes You
The most fulfilling and productive networking experiences arise when you engage with activities and people that genuinely excite you. Whether it’s attending a niche conference, joining a community group, or simply accepting a coffee invitation, prioritize activities that spark your curiosity and energy. When you are truly interested, your authenticity shines through effortlessly.
Marie Forleo emphasizes that the best business connections often blossom from genuine friendships. When you approach networking with the primary goal of meeting like-minded individuals and forming bonds, rather than just disseminating information about your business, the entire experience transforms. Of course, sharing what you do for a living is part of the conversation, but it should be secondary to the desire for genuine connection. By focusing on making friends and enjoying the process, you naturally attract opportunities and build a robust network of genuine connections.
