Networking Basics: 8 Tips to Networking Without Being Fake

Building meaningful professional connections can often feel like a daunting task, especially when faced with the pressure of traditional networking scenarios. As Marie Forleo aptly highlights in the accompanying video, the very idea of networking can conjure images of contrived interactions in uninspiring venues, leading many to label the experience as inauthentic or “fakey pants.” However, successful career growth and business development are inherently linked to cultivating strong relationships. The key, as explored in the video, lies in redefining networking from a transactional event to an organic, ongoing process rooted in genuine connection.

This article expands upon Marie Forleo’s invaluable guidance, offering deeper insights and practical strategies for authentic networking. It’s about shifting your mindset to embrace relationship-building as an act of contribution and curiosity, rather than a self-serving pursuit. By focusing on giving, presence, and long-term thinking, you can transform your networking efforts into a rewarding journey that naturally attracts opportunities and fosters a supportive professional community.

Cultivating Authentic Networking: Essential Strategies for Genuine Connections

Authentic networking is fundamentally about human connection. It involves being yourself, showing genuine interest in others, and seeking ways to add value without immediate expectation of return. This approach not only feels more natural but also leads to more robust and lasting relationships that can genuinely benefit your career and personal life. Let us delve into core strategies that foster such genuine professional connections.

1. Focus on Giving Versus Getting

The foundation of genuine connections in professional networking is a selfless approach centered on giving. Instead of contemplating what you can gain from an interaction, consider how you might genuinely assist the other person, even if it has no direct bearing on your business or career. This could manifest as recommending an insightful book, suggesting a relevant article, or making a thoughtful introduction to someone who could benefit them. Such acts of generosity initiate a cycle of reciprocity, subtly communicating that your intentions are rooted in mutual support rather than immediate personal gain.

Psychologically, this approach builds trust and rapport, making you a memorable and valued contact. When you offer something without expecting anything back, you demonstrate a commitment to the relationship itself. This selfless contribution, however small, paves the way for deeper professional relationships to form naturally over time. Authentic networking thrives on this principle, transforming interactions into opportunities for shared value and support within your professional community.

2. Be Truly Present in Conversations

True presence is a rare and powerful commodity in today’s fast-paced world, and it is absolutely crucial for authentic networking. When engaging with someone, dedicate your full attention to them, mirroring the focused concentration exemplified by individuals like the renowned yoga teacher Rodney Yee mentioned in the video. This means actively listening to their words, observing their body language, and truly processing what they communicate without simultaneously scanning the room for other “better” connections or formulating your next talking point. Such undivided attention makes the other person feel genuinely valued and heard, a sensation that fosters immediate trust and connection.

Conversely, exhibiting distracted behavior—such as glancing over their shoulder, fiddling with your phone, or letting your eyes wander—conveys disinterest and superficiality, making any interaction feel contrived and inauthentic. Being truly present means silencing your internal monologue and putting away digital distractions, allowing for a deeper, more meaningful exchange. This practice is not only respectful but also enables you to absorb valuable information about the other person, which can inform future interactions and strengthen your professional connections.

3. Listen Far More Than You Speak

The timeless adage about having two ears and one mouth for a reason holds profound truth in the realm of authentic networking. People are naturally drawn to those who show genuine interest in them, and demonstrating this interest primarily involves attentive listening. By asking thoughtful, open-ended questions and then truly absorbing the responses, you signal respect and a desire to understand the other person’s perspective and experiences. This approach allows you to uncover their challenges, aspirations, and professional needs, which in turn can reveal authentic ways you might offer assistance.

When you focus on listening, you also gain valuable insights that can inform the direction of your conversation, making it feel less like an interrogation and more like a natural dialogue. Remembering details about what someone shared can be incredibly powerful in subsequent interactions, showing that you value their words and their individuality. Effective listening is a cornerstone of building genuine relationships, as it makes people feel important and encourages them to open up, thereby strengthening the foundation of your professional connections.

4. Embrace a Long-Term Perspective

Real professional relationships, much like genuine friendships, are cultivated gradually and require consistent nurturing over time. An authentic networking strategy emphasizes building rapport and mutual understanding rather than immediately pushing a personal agenda. For instance, if you encounter a children’s book publisher at an event and you are an aspiring author, resist the urge to immediately pitch your manuscript. Instead, engage them in a conversation about their industry, their experiences, or current trends, showing genuine curiosity about their world.

Approaching interactions with a long-term mindset means understanding that the immediate outcome is simply to establish a connection and perhaps learn something new. The objective is to plant seeds for future interactions, allowing the relationship to develop organically. This approach removes the pressure of needing an immediate return, enabling more relaxed and sincere exchanges that form the bedrock of enduring professional connections. Focusing on sustained engagement rather than instantaneous benefit transforms transactional meetings into foundational relationship-building opportunities.

5. Avoid Over-Commitment and Unnecessary Guilt

As your professional network expands, especially through attending numerous conferences and events, you will inevitably meet a multitude of individuals. It is perfectly acceptable and, indeed, wise not to feel obligated to maintain close contact with every single person you encounter. The video wisely advises against over-committing, particularly when you know you cannot follow through, as this can lead to unfulfilled promises and damaged trust. Protecting your time and energy is crucial for maintaining authentic professional connections with those who genuinely resonate with your goals and values.

When faced with requests for coffee meetings or follow-up conversations that don’t align with your capacity or interest, it’s important to decline gracefully and honestly. Instead of offering a vague “We should do that sometime,” use a clear, polite refusal such as, “I truly appreciate the offer, but my current schedule is quite full, and I wouldn’t want to make a promise I can’t keep.” This transparent communication sets healthy boundaries and respects both your time and the other person’s, allowing you to focus on developing quality professional connections rather than accumulating superficial acquaintances.

6. Act Promptly on Agreed-Upon Next Steps

When you do commit to an action during a networking interaction, such as making an email introduction or sharing a resource, it is imperative to follow through immediately. The video emphasizes whipping out your smartphone to complete the task on the spot, rather than deferring it until you return home. This not only demonstrates your reliability and professionalism but also capitalizes on the momentum of the conversation and prevents tasks from piling up. Instant execution reinforces your commitment and trustworthiness, key elements in building strong professional connections.

Taking immediate action transforms promises into tangible support, making a powerful impression on the person you are helping. It ensures that the positive energy generated during your interaction doesn’t dissipate with time, solidifying the nascent relationship. This habit of prompt follow-through showcases your proactive nature and dedication, distinguishing you as someone who is not only willing to help but also capable of delivering efficiently. It is a critical component of authentic networking, where actions speak louder than words in fostering genuine professional connections.

7. Engage Only in Activities That Truly Excite You

To ensure your networking efforts remain authentic and energizing, selectively choose to participate only in events, conferences, or social gatherings that genuinely pique your interest. The most fruitful professional connections often emerge from environments where you feel comfortable, stimulated, and naturally inclined to engage. When you attend events that align with your passions, you are more likely to encounter like-minded individuals and engage in sincere conversations, reducing the likelihood of feeling “fakey pants.” This approach transforms networking from a chore into an enjoyable opportunity for meeting new friends.

Focusing on making genuine friends rather than merely collecting business cards shifts your objective from transactional to relational. This genuine desire for connection, as highlighted by attendees of Marie Forleo’s RHH Live event, naturally leads to deeper and more meaningful interactions. While discussing your profession is part of the process, it should not overshadow your primary goal of connecting on a human level. By prioritizing your genuine enthusiasm and seeking out kindred spirits, you naturally foster a network of supportive and valuable professional connections that enrich both your career and your life.

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